If all else fails just say that you’re praying for us!
Hey girl, Hey!
Today kicks off National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) and the theme for this year is “FLIP THE SCRIPT”.
We are absolutely in love with this year’s theme because it’s way past time for us to change the conversation surrounding infertility.
For so long infertility has been a taboo subject that NOBODY wants to talk about. But with the number of people infertility affects increasing (1 in 8 by the way), we can’t afford NOT to talk about it.
This disease is affecting our physical health, our state of mind, our marriages and our relationship with God…. Sigh… We can no longer choose to talk about it (or not), this conversation has now become a necessity…
With all that being said, we are taking the pledge to make infertility loud and flip the script this week. We will be posting about it. We’ll be tweeting about it. We’ll be going LIVE about it. Why!? Because it’s THAT serious. Make sure you’re following us (@wombprep) on social media all this week to see how we’re flipping the script about infertility!
#NIAW2018 #FlipTheScript #ttc #ttcsisters #infertility #pcos #ivf #fertility #ttcjourney #pregnancy #ivfjourney #infertilitysisters #support #infertilitysupport #unexplainedinfertility #infertilityjourney
About 2 weeks ago, I got a text from a friend saying “I want to share something with you”. Now when I read that text I wasn’t sure how to feel. I can sometimes have an overactive imagination so I didn’t know if I needed to be concerned or not. My heart started beating fast and all kinds of thoughts were running through my head. It was the most stressful 30 seconds of my day LOL. But thankfully after I responded “Ok”, my friend quickly sent a text back telling me that she was pregnant……
Cue the sorrowful tears, right? NOPE… There were no tears. There wasn’t even that pinch of jealousy that I used to feel upon hearing that another woman is pregnant. There was nothing…. BUT JOY! Pure, unadulterated joy. Now, for the average woman, joy would be the default emotion when hearing that her friend, who has been in a season of waiting, has become pregnant. But for a woman like me, who is also in a season of waiting; joy can sometimes feel like a phantom emotion that’s not easy to obtain. This is why I consider this text encounter a major Small Victory!
It’s a victory because I didn’t cry for what I didn’t have.
It’s a victory because I had no feelings of jealousy.
It’s a victory because I was able to FREELY celebrate my friend on her pregnancy.
It’s a victory because God is still working miracles. (THAT PART!)
Sometimes, we can get so caught up in trying to obtain the big victories – pregnancy and giving birth to a baby – that we neglect the small ones that are happening every single day. This is actually pretty sad because neglecting the small victories also means missing the bigger picture.
We miss praising God for our progress.
We miss a positive change in our perspective.
We miss the opportunity to encourage and witness to others.
We miss recognizing that miracles are still happening.
And these things, my dear friends, are things that we should never miss while on this journey.
So what small victories are you celebrating today?
Maybe your small victory isn’t like mine… That’s perfectly ok. Yours could be getting through a baby shower in one piece or being able to walk through the baby aisle at Target with your head held high.
Whatever your small victory is, be sure to celebrate it. Know that God is working everything out and HE IS concerned about everything that concerns you (See Psalm 138:8).
This is the main thought that I’ve had everytime I thought about what I wanted for Christmas. Can I be honest with you all? These last few weeks leading up to Christmas have been one BIG emotional roller coaster filled with all kinds of twists, turns, loops and dips. I’m pretty sure that I have felt every emotion imaginable. I’ve gone from happy to sad to laughing to crying, to frustration to joy – all within a 3 week period. And all because I know 2 pink lines won’t be my Christmas present.
And I imagine I’m not the only one. Has this holiday season been hard for you? Have you been on an emotional roller coaster because the ONE THING you want for Christmas, is something you know you won’t get? If you answered YES, I want to encourage you today.
One thing God taught me during this emotional holiday season is that IT’S OK!
It’s ok to cry
It’s ok to feel sad
It’s ok to be over it for a day a two
It’s even ok for you to cancel plans of spending
time with friends or family.
As long as you don’t stay in that sad and depressed state, it truly is ok.
Another thing that God taught me in my emotional state was to be thankful for what He’s already given me and to praise Him now for what’s to come at a later date. So although I won’t see two pink lines on THIS Christmas, I’ve made a decision to be happy anyway. And I encourage you all to do the same.
Let’s not get so caught up in our desire for children, that every other blessing God has given us fades to the background. When we allow that to happen, we run the risk of wasting a chance to be thankful. And that, my loves, is something we should never waste.
God has been to good for us to focus on what we don’t have. So even though our babies aren’t here yet and we won’t be surprised with 2 pink lines on Christmas; let’s think about those things we can rejoice about. And while we’re at it let’s start praising God NOW for our precious babies.
Because friends, let me tell you, the babies… OUR BABIES… are coming. We may not know when or even how, but rest assured…. It’s happening. God promised us that we will birth these precious children and I know He will deliver on that promise in His perfect timing! But until He does, let’s prepare while we wait and live our lives pleasing Him.
Merry Christmas, ladies!
A few days ago, I was scrolling through Facebook and came across a beautiful post entitled “When You Want To Cry In Target”. This post touched on how women with infertility struggle with going through the baby aisles and buying gifts for baby showers and birthdays. If you would like to read the article click below :
This post really resonated with me and made me shed a few tears because I know all too well how difficult this can be. I know what it’s like to have to take a deep breath just to keep from shedding tears in the middle of the store. I know what it’s like to be frustrated because you wish you were shopping for your baby instead of someone else’s. And I know whats it’s like to have to fight off the feelings of grief, confusion and sadness hours and even days after going through the baby aisles. My loves, I know what all of that is like. But allow me to give you a new perspective………
Today, I want to talk about the BLESSING in the baby aisle! YES, you read that right! I did say BLESSING!
I know, as women on a Journey to Motherhood, having to go through the baby aisles can seem like a curse. You start wondering why God blessed your loved one with a baby instead of you. You even start to question if God loves you and if so when would He bless you with your baby. Needless to say, this is a very bad experience for most women in our shoes. But it doesn’t have to be…. Going through the baby aisles can actually be a good thing. Here’s how….
1. IT CAN GIVE YOU HOPE For most of us, having hope during this journey seems like an impossible task. After all, it’s hard to hope for something when you’ve been praying, crying, and fighting for it and it still hasn’t come. So, This is where a shift in perspective will have to take place. If you always associate the baby aisles with hopelessness and sorrow that is how you are going to feel every single time. But if you change your mindset and begin to open your heart to hope and faith then that changes everything. It really all comes down to how you look at it. So the next time you find yourself in the baby aisle, don’t feel sorry for what you don’t have. Instead, let hope spring forth and praise God for what’s to come. Because just like God did it for the 7 women in the bible, He can also do it for you.
2. IT ALLOWS YOU TO PUT YOUR FAITH INTO ACTION Ladies, it’s great that we’re praying, fasting, hoping and believing that God will in fact keep His promises to us concerning our babies but now it’s time to back our faith up with some action. James 2:17 says: “In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead”. I believe that one of the best ways we can put our faith to work is by going BABY SHOPPING. And I’m not talking about shopping for your friend’s or loved one’s baby. I want you to go baby shopping for YOUR baby…..
I know… I know… Sounds crazy right!? I can just imagine some of ya’ll giving me the side eye while reading this, but hear me out…..
Some of you are probably thinking “But I’m not pregnant yet”…
Others of you may be saying “People are going to think I’m crazy”…
And there may even be some that are wondering “WHAT IF I have a miscarriage or my baby dies?”…
Let me stop you right there…! Don’t allow fear or other people’s perception to prevent you from activating your faith while on this journey. Going baby shopping sends a message to the enemy and let’s him know that you may not know when or even how but you do have faith that it is going to happen.
And you don’t have to decorate the WHOLE baby nursery right now but start off small. Purchase things like onesies, mittens, and socks. From what I hear and have seen second hand, babies go through a million onesies and socks a month so you can never have to many (LOL). Then when you feel more comfortable, consider purchasing bottles, pacifiers and other small things. You’ve sacrificed so much time and money for other people’s children now it’s time to do the same for yours.
Ladies, God wants us to be prepared for the children that He’s promised us and there’s no better time to start that preparation than NOW! So my challenge to you all is to buy ONE thing for your baby every month. Will you accept the challenge???
I know that seems like a rather harsh way to start off a blog post (especially since I haven’t written anything in a while)… BUT.. It’s the absolute truth. Infertility is emotionally draining. It tests your hope and faith in God. And for a lot of women, it is even physically painful. So yeah… like I originally said, it sucks!
But as horrible as infertility is, I have a lot of “what if” questions concerning it. Now, these aren’t your typical “what if” questions dealing with infertility like: “What if I didn’t have that abortion” or “what if we would have started trying sooner”… No… my questions are a bit different. They are more along the lines of….
WHAT IF… we look at this “infertility” thing totally different?
WHAT IF… we changed our perspective about our Journey to Motherhood?
WHAT IF… we saw this thing the way God sees it?
Then how differently our faith, hope, emotions and our very lives would be.
One of the most important things that I’ve learned about this journey is that it’s all about….
According to Google perspecive is described as
a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.
It just depends on how we CHOOSE to look at things. We can choose to be in our feelings all the time and view this thing from a human, fleshly perspective. Or we can choose to see things from God’s point of view. It really does come down to simply being a choice. But just make a note that if we choose the fleshly perspective we’ll miss the beauty and blessings that are in the midst of the pain and turmoil.
The thing about the fleshly point of view is that it’s only one dimensional. All we’re able to see is the pain, suffering, tears and turmoil. But God’s perspective is multi-dimensional and multi-faceted. It’s only within God’s perspective that we’ll really understand that this journey is not only happening to us but it’s also happening for us (see Romans 8:28). There is a divine purpose for us going through this journey. Remember, there is NOTHING that we go through that God doesn’t know about and hasn’t already pre-approved (read Job 1).
As horrible as this journey may be, God has given us blessings in the midst of it all. Think about your newfound, authentic relationship with Christ; the deep intimacy you’ve experience with your husband; the revelation of your purpose and your platform; or your compassion and empathy for other women (regardless of religious and cultural backgrounds)… These, my dear friends, are blessings that God has given us in the midst of all the hurt and pain. These things (and so many more) are our “beauty for ashes”. So the next time you find yourself talking about your infertility journey, don’t forget to mention the beauty and blessings.
It’s OK to feel sad and long for your unconceived child. It’s OK to mourn the loss of your unborn child. It’s even OK to ask God why certain things are happening in your body. All of this comes with the territory. Just dont forget to tell the world how good God has been and what He’s doing for you in the middle of your journey!
I think that I can speak for most women on this Journey to Motherhood and say that waiting is one of the most difficult parts. I know for me, when God told me that I would have a child, I expected it to be smooth sailing afterward….. That is so not the case, lol. Years later and I’m STILL waiting. When it comes to this journey and the waiting process, there can be so many unanswered questions like: Why me? What did I do wrong? Why does she get to have a baby and I don’t? How long am I going to have to wait?… The questions really are never ending. And considering the circumstances, those questions are perfectly normal. But I want to encourage you to not let those questions and your current situation overwhelm you.
As hard as it may be to believe, there really is a blessing in this waiting process. Don’t miss it by dwelling on things that are well out of your control. Instead, I challenge you to adopt a new perspective about this whole journey. Consider the fact that maybe God has allowed you on this journey to teach you lessons you would not have otherwise known or took the time to learn. Let’s face it….. The only reason some of us talk to God or even have a relationship with Him at all is because we’re on this journey. Sometimes, God has to do some interesting things to get our attention. This journey may be one of those things for you. So instead of thinking of it as a burden, look at it as a blessing. I understand that may be a little hard to do but try to do it anyway. Listed below are a few ways this journey can be a blessing……
#1. This journey can help you figure out your God-given purpose…….
One of the most amazing things about being a Daughter of the King is that our Daddy is super strategic. Seriously, everything that happens to us is all for purpose (See Romans 8:28). So, it came as no surprise to our AMAZING GOD that you were diagnosed with infertility or experienced that miscarriage. Although, those experiences are super painful to go through, God is using them for HIS glory and to show you what your purpose on this earth really is.
#2 This journey can help you cultivate a closer relationship with God.
Let’s be honest here…… Before we found ourselves on this journey, some of our relationships with God truly sucked, lol… In the spirit of transparency, I can honestly say that before alllllll of this, I barely talked to God. I would go to church on Sundays and participate in church activities during the week sometimes, but that was really the only time we communicated. But going through this has taught me how to really be one with God. It’s taught me to how to have an authentic relationship with Him. He is truly my best friend…!
#3 God can use this journey to show and teach you certain things.
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in the past few years is that God is ALWAYS speaking, teaching and revealing. It’s up to us to listen when He speaks, learn when He teaches and receive when He reveals. We can’t get so caught up in the logistics of this journey that we miss everything else that God is doing.
#4 This journey has the potential to strengthen your marriage and friendships (some, not all)
Trying to maintain a marriage and friendships during this journey can be a difficult task. With emotions running high, hormones all over the place, and questions still unanswered; it can be a bit tricky. But it’s NOT impossible to have strong, healthy and happy relationships. The key is that ALL parties involved have to really work at it. This means that friends have to be understanding when they don’t really want to be. And spouses have to be intentional about their marriage in the midst of everything else going on…. Yeah, I know that’s hard sometimes but it’s worth it…
#5 This journey shows you that God is working behind the scenes…
If you don’t learn anything else from this article, please know and understand that God is truly working behind the scenes. You may not be able to see or feel what He is doing but I PROMISE He is working. He has a master plan for everything you’re going through and will reveal it when it’s time. In the meantime; stay prayerful, stay hopeful and stay faithful (See Romans 12:12).
This journey is full of God’s blessings, it’s just up to us to recognize them.
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