Infertility is one of those things that most people don’t understand or know how to deal with. This usually results in insensitive or inconsiderate comments and unsolicited advice… Most of the time people mean well and aren’t trying to be mean… They just don’t know the correct things to say or the right way to say them.. But it doesn’t have to be this way..
This week is National Infertility Awareness week and today I’m going to tell you 5 things that should never be said to a person dealing with infertility…..
1. “Girl be glad you don’t have any kids, they can be such a headache.” —- Now, don’t get us wrong… We know that kids can be a handful sometimes but this statement IS NOT HELPFUL. In all honesty, it makes us give you a major side eye. Children are a gift (see Psalm 127:3) and we would GLADLY endure the headache that comes with parenting.
2. Why don’t yall JUST adopt or become foster parents? —- There are so many children that need loving, safe homes and some of us will seriously consider this option… HOWEVER, foster parenting and/or adoption should never be referred to as a substitute for biological children. Although logically it may seem like an “easy fix” to the “no kid” dilemma, it really is not that simple at all… Adoption comes with it’s own set of rules, financial difficulty, emotional rollercoasters and level of spiritual warfare. That decision should be made with all seriousness.
3. Maybe it’s just not meant to be… —- 🙄😡😠 This comment will get you mentally punched 👊(maybe even so in real life)… You should NEVER EVER say anything like this to someone who has sowed in blood, sweat, tears, prayers, and money to have a baby.
4. Why are you trying to have a baby when you’re over 40 years old?? — The desire to have a baby doesn’t go away just because a woman joins the 40+ club… This comment only reminds them that it will be even harder to conceive (even with fertility treatments) and makes them feel pressured and anxious. Pressure and anxiety are the LAST things Future Mommies need to feel.
5. If I could give you my ovaries, uterus, womb, etc… I would. —- This comment is usually meant to be funny or comforting but it’s neither.. Please stop saying this. Your ability to birth children without much effort is a gift from God. And I truly don’t mean any harm by saying this but…… We don’t want YOUR lady parts. We simply want our own lady parts to work and function the way God intended them to.
As I stated earlier, we know most of you don’t mean any harm by saying these things but when you know better, you do better. So moving forward, let’s try to forego these comments.
If all else fails just say that you’re praying for us!