The Struggle WAS real…. BUT GOD!

Hello my name is Latoya Raquel (Bell) Adams. I am 39 years old. I have been married for 7 years. My husband and I are the proud parents for our son Kevin W. Adams III “Trey”. He is 3 years old. Our testimony is:

Ephesians 3: 20-21 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

We entered our union on March 14, 2009. I was 32 at the time. We decided to wait a year then start a family. Well 34 came quickly with no “connections”. Everyone said “relax, your trying to make it happen…” well I have always had issues with an irregular cycle so many times I would confuse a late period for a pregnancy. Many disappoints later I went to my OB-Gyn. she then sent me on to a fertility specialist. He had good news for me, “You need surgery. you have polip on your cervix and a fibroid. We will do surgery I guarantee you will be pregnant in a year.” This was in February of 2011. We found out we were pregnant in December 2011. We were so happy and shared the good news with our families. Then the unthinkable happened. We had a miscarriage in January of 2012. We were devastated! As we left the doctor’s office, I literally felt my heart breaking! I remember crying so much my eyes puffed double in size. Everyone tried their best to comfort us with their condolences and the word of God. But they weren’t us. They had their babies. (Ladies and gentlemen the word of God is true when He said the mind is a battlefield!) The enemy started immediately with the lies, “you will never have children, your husband is gone leave you, you shouldn’t have been such a slut in your young days, God don’t bless sinners like you, you got just what you deserved, you are nothing, curse God and die…” THE STRUGGLE WAS REAL!! But hear me Woman and man of God THE DEVIL IS A LIAR and all he can do is talk!!!!

Side bar: Woman of God you are whole and complete with or without biological children. Man of God you are complete and whole with our without biological children.

My husband was strong for me but completely broken inside. He was experiencing a miscarriage too. (Ladies even though we feel it physically and emotionally, our husbands feel it 100% emotionally. We heal physically which, in my opinion, helps us to heal emotionally. But what about my husbands’ pain?) I must admit that I missed it (so caught up in my own feelings). But God didn’t! Hallelujah!! The First Sunday in February I was getting ready to go to church. Kevin was off this day so I automatically assumed he was going with me. He was still in his PJ’s lying on the couch. “Babe are you going to get ready?” His response, “nope”. My response, “Why?” His response, “Cause I don’t want to”! With that, he turned over to faced the wall. My response was immediate anger. “Why aren’t you going? I met you in church! Why are you being so difficult? FINE you ain’t going, I ain’t going”! His response to me was “go on over there with ALL YOUR Friends! Ain’t nobody called me to check on me. Ain’t nobody asked me if I’m Good”! At this I broke down crying and told him, “people called to check on us all the time.” He then told me, “but nobody called me! I need to here it’s going to be alright not what they told you to tell me.” I hugged my husband and I apologized. I got up, got in my car, and went on to church. I cried the entire service not knowing God was working for REAL. My plan was to sit in the audience and cry. But God had other plans.I am on the praise team at my church. My First Lady came up to me and told me, ” I know you are hurting, I know you don’t see the good in this situation but come on daughter you have to press and praise your way through this”! That is exactly what I did. I don’t know what we sang that day but I do remember My Pastor left out of Praise and Worship , which was unusual. I returned home not knowing what to expect. When I got home my husband asked me, “who did you talk to at church?” I told him “nobody” which was the truth! The only time I wasn’t balling was during praise and worship service.
My husband then told me our pastor called him to check on him! Not only our pastor but several other brothers from the church called him. God was, and still is, at work!! Hallelujah!! Later on that week I was home alone for the first time. Again the enemy started in on me. I prayed and told God “Lord you have got to help me”! I was sitting on the couch with my bible. I then said “Lord where ever this bible opens I need you to talk to me I am about to lose my mind”! I dropped the bible and it fell open to these words I Peter 5:1-11 the key scripture was verse 10:But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. At that moment I wept tears of joy! God spoke directly to my heart from His word! I got up and decreed this word over myself, my husband, my marriage and my womb.
Our anniversary was about a month away and I was not feeling it! I talked to my sister who gave me the best advice. She told me I have to speak my husband’s love language. I did not want to be intimate. I didn’t want to make love! My sister told me, “talk to your husband tell him how you feel. He loves you and he will wait for you, be gentle with you.” I made us a romantic dinner put on some Jill Scott to help me relax lit candles and present my husband with his anniversary gift ME! That night I got pregnant with our son! He is a complete joy! We gave birth November 16, 2012 @ 6:49 pm. Life was going well motherhood was the bomb! When Trey turned 2 we decided to start trying for baby number two. My first late cycle I took a pregancy test! We were pregnant! went to the Dr. to confirm but there was a sack but no baby. we were only about 6 weeks. My Dr. said this is very common. This happens quite often. your cycle will come down and you can try again. Miscarriage number 2. But life was so busy we both went on as if nothing happened. But it did. This year we found out we were pregnant again! I went to the Dr. and saw our little blessing on the ultrasound. The Dr. was concerned because the heartbeat was “slow”.Gave me a hormone prescription and told me do ONLY what you need to do. I followed these instructions to a tee. I return two weeks later for another ultrasound miscarriage number 3! My body had begun to absolve our baby but I still had all the symptoms, nausea, sleeping and the cravings. I was done!! my Husband said “well maybe we aren’t meant to have any other children. I look at it like this we have our son he is a blessing we are good.” I wanted to take on this attitude but I was not good!! We made plans to have a D and C. I could not go through another natural miscarriage. My surgery went well. We even received the news after I had 2 complete cycles we could try again. But mentally I was not ready. I started counseling to work through this process. Counseling is an awesome tool take advantage of it! My husband and I have been working through this process. We are excited to say we are currently 11 weeks and 4 days into our 5 pregnancy! We have a strong heartbeat and to date all is well. God is so faithful!!

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